A sign?

So recently I was writing about wanting to walk more and have a less hurried life.

Well, Tuesday night Pere's car broke. Imagine the engine block breaking in half and falling out of the car... yeah, like that. It broke to the tune of six thousand dollars or maybe eight.

We really don't feel like paying that much to fix that car, as that is almost half what we paid for it initially and it is nine years old. So I was thinking that Pere could take my car to work most days and when I needed it I could drive him in. It sounded kind of nice, although there is the problem of Z's auditions (I'll address that later.)

So maybe the car breaking down is a sign that we can go back to being a one car household and I am allowed to stop ferrying Z all over the city.

But if that is a sign then what about this?

Today Pere recieves an inheirtance from his Grandpere that will just cover the cost of fixing his car.

Am I getting mixe messages or what?!?

Now let us get back to the problem of Z's auditions, as we can't really do those without a car and I don't really feel like driving Pere into work and picking him up everyday because it can sometimes take an hour one way. I would do it one maybe two days a week.

Last Friday Z had two auditions, one on Saturday and one on Sunday, one Monday, THREE Tuesday, one today and one (so far) tomorrow. So not only do I need a car every day but I need one that gets great gas milege.

So I ask Z how she would feel about taking a break from auditioning. She didn't like that idea very much. She reminded me that she already had a two week break in December. I can see that convincing her to stop auditioning is going to be hard. I am pretty well ready to stop and today she had one of those auditions where she works with an adult actress (who plays her mom) and after those I always get a little depressed. I feel kind of sorry for these women who are probably great actresses having to go on all these auditions (to hawk toothpaste or something) and trying to Make A Living out of it. :(

So I try to explain to Z that most of these people are good actors and good looking and they still don't get work. And a tiny percent of them ever "get famous" and then you have to deal with the horrible tabloids. Best case scenario is that you get a lot of work but no one really cares who you are. Now how likely is that to happen?

This is what Z says "Can't I just keep doing it until I don't want to anymore?"

"Yes, of course, baby." I say.

Maybe some people need to keep trying to do the thing they want most to do and they can't be happy any other way. Since acting is not the thing I want most to do sometimes I don't get that. But there are things in my life, like growing and learning and connecting that I will go through almost any lengths and much hardship to try to attain because I can't live any other way.

I admit I hope acting or performing isn't something Z needs though if it is I will support it.

So my car breaks and it is like a pass from the universe saying that I don't have to drive so much anymore. Then we get the money to fix it the next day. Then my daughter asks to just be allowed to do something she loves... Is that my sign?