Expectations part II

I want to share an example of how we support our child's dreams without placing expectations on her.

Z loves to perform. Some people, like myself, are pretty uncomfortable with the idea of displaying themselves in front of a large crowd. But Z finds it really fun. She has rarely shown any "stage fright" or nervousness when called on to perform. She regularly spontaneously performs in front of strangers at places like grocery stores or the mall. I don't think it is all about the attention either because she will sing and dance and act alone in her room as well.

She went on her first audition for the part of Young Cosette in a student version of Les Miserables soon after she turned four. She didn't get the part but after the audition she exclaimed "I love to sing in front of strangers!" *heh*

Since then I have done what I could to find opportunities for her to perform "in front of strangers". At four she auditioned for and got into two youth community theatres for kids 8 and up, one for musical theatre and one for Shakespeare. She also started singing and playing piano at recitals.

About six months ago Z got an acting agent. It is not something I would have thought about if we didn't already live in Los Angeles and if it hadn't been suggested to me by many people in that industry after they had seen Z and recognized her passion for performing.

Z had an awesome time on her first job doing a voice over (I thought it was really fun too) and has continued to approach each audition and callback with enthusiam and walk, or rather skip, out of each one on a total "high."

(I am well aware of the negatives associated with children acting professionally and I have no problems putting aside this endeavor should it begin to effect our lives negatively.)

So yes, I do a lot to support my child's passion to act. But I have no expectations that she will ever be famous or even perform professionally as an adult. I have never told Z that she will be famous or even that she "should" act because of her passion and talent.

Just as much as I have helped her find opportunities to perform I have also given her many other kinds of opportunities, especially in the sciences, which she loves. I have also seen a talent in the visual spatial spectrum and we spend a lot of time developing that. I would say that we spend time even on things that Z does not have a talent for but she is one of those globally gifted kids so we haven't yet found something that Z is not good at. (except perhaps sitting still *grin*)

I see a difference in supporting and encouraging my child in her wish to do things outside of the norm for her age and placing unhealthy expectations on her.

Some would say that even giving your child the label "gifted" is putting too much expectation on them. But as a person who was a gifted child I feel like it is just giving your child information that they can use to validate what they are experiencing. In our family being gifted does not come with the expetactation that one must make a lot of money or cure the world's problems. In our family being part of humanity comes with many responsibilities as does being a "good person" and we should try to use what resources we have avialable to us to effect the things that are important to us as well as explore our own unique path.