Today was the homeschool park day and I was talking with some friends and a mom that is new to me. This mom had older boys who are into anime and manga and she wanted me to talk with them about it. She is pretty cool.
Then we got to talking about the new Harry Potter movie coming out next summer and I said "Z is working on the fourth book now. Pere told Z that she has to read the fifth book before she can watch the movie."
I knew when I said it that I was saying something almost controversial. A 5 1/2 year old reading Goblet of Fire? I'm not sure why I said it. Maybe because I was tired of being to guarded about Z.
But the mom was totally astonished and kept saying 'Wow! She can read that?", "Wow, she is only five?", "Boy, she can read better than my sons almost!", "That is just amazing!"
*sigh*
How am I supposed to respond to that?
I said some different things "Yeah, well she really likes reading." as if her reading is just some fluke. And "She is just really into Harry Potter." as if it is somehow the magic of Harry Potter that makes her able to read.
I was feeling weird and berating myself of saying anything at all.
But you know, I am at the park for 6 hours and everyone is talking about homeschooling that their kids and telling funny stories and talking about curriculum and talking about their kid's interests and so much of it I can't really take part in because if I do people might think I am bragging or even lying.
Actually I do talk a lot. But I am very conscious about only saying certain things, making sure to omit or downplay what is really going on. It is completely lame that I have to do that.
For example, because Z is only 5 people assume this is our first year homeschooling, when really it is our third and she is doing things that a normal eight year old it doing. So I either have to let people assume that I am brand new at all this and in need or a lot of advice and newbie support or I have to make up some story about how I have "always" been homeschooling Z, as part of a lifestyle, or something that stops them from offering me newbie advice but doesn't let them know that I was homeschooling her when she was 2 1/2.
Other mom's get to talk about their kids problems and their kids achievements. There is a lot of that talk going on. They talk about their kids schedules and what their kids are learning at home. I just want to be able to talk about that stuff too but I feel like whenever I do that I have to be afraid that someone is going to have a negative reaction.
Anyway, I guess I just needed to vent.
I do have fun at the park talking with the othr parents about safe topics like religion and politics ;)
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6 comments:
Wow, 6 hours at the park? That's ... astonishing. Even our huge annual homeschoolers First Day Not Back To School picnic only lasts for 4, and Rose is exhausted at the end of it.
I must tell you, if I got such a response from a mother after telling them my child's reading level, I would be gratified. She sounded genuinely impressed, the way you reported it anyway. I don't mind people being impressed or amazed. (I probably would have responded with something serene, such as, "yes,she likes reading." But I would have been happy, considering most responses I've experienced have been to downplay what I've said, sniff at it, rubbish the whole concept of giftedness, or try for a spot of one-upmanship.
I know how you feel about wanting to be able to talk about your own child and your homeschool with others, though. I wish the same thing SO MUCH.
Hey Sarah
Yeah we were there from 10:00 to 4:00. That is pretty usual and Z still doesn't want to go at 4:00!
I wasn't really gratified. She went on about it too much. I am not upset at her at all! Just worried. She is friends with the mean leader of our group and I was imaging her mentioning it to her and the leader having something mean and snarky to say about it. Or that something else bad will come of it. YKWIM?
My husband reminds me when I worry that I said too much, "It is what it is." in regards to our child's abilities.
I am actually more ok with the amazed response than the cold stares or worse responses.
This was one of the issues of many that I found hard dealing with. I actually thought it would be easier if Ami went to school.
Today, I received the odd preliminary activity list for the outside class gets together. Some parents actually think it would be fun to incorporate some of the class' lesson themes in games for this so called Halloween themed event. I know my daughter is not interested in doing "school" at a party. (This is not school sponsored.)
If I go back to homeschooling I am considering saying Ami's grade is the one the psychologist recomended she attend. (Not the level she is working at.) I am also not going to put her in exclusive age based academic type groups because the report says it would be harmful.
I backed out of the Daisy's partially for this reason. I wanted Ami to be a Brownie because she is a "first grader" in the HG program. The lady kept fiddling with the time. And when I told her I was cutting it close to get to Ami's appointment she decided to move the time up 15 minutes to make it impossible.
I think if I homeschool I will have to have some of my own groups and say it is for .......... grade and up.
I am glad you vented. You have my sympathy. I hope it doesn't cause problems with the lady who is wigged out about Z and you.
I have to agree with Mamita. It is what it is. Z is what she is! I used to care what the other HSers thought about Gracie and get really upset about the "what if", but I have come to realize that Gracie is being HSed for a valid reason, the same as everyone else. It is easy to say all of this, when no one has started in on us this year yet, but I suppose I have a fresh outlook. :)
I think I would much rather have the "WOW" comments ( as did Gracie at her Big Report) than have cold stares ( as Mamita has encountered!)
((((HUG))))
Z is one of a kind and you are doing a wonderful job with her. Screw what the leader says. ;) I know that is hard, esp when she has control over age groups etc. It sounds like Z has many opportunities in this HS group though!
Our group just got a "rules list" posted by one of the leaders, saying that the age limits are rigid. Nice. So what about "mental age?" Sigh. We were encouraged to plan our own activities for the "appropriate" age group. If I did that, she'd be singing Bingo, same as Z. They tend to take a VERY cautious approach here...
Good Luck!
Forte
You have my sympathies! These things are always so uncomfortable. Excitement is definitely better than disdain, but I am MOST excited when I can say one of these things and have it pass right by like any other comment about homeschooling. Once in a while it happens, and I do a little dance in my head :-)
I could say so much, but I'm tired so I'll just say, I know what you mean! As we get to know more home schoolers we keep reinventing the answer to "So why did you pull V. out of school?" Recently I went out on a limb and said, "profoundly gifted" to someone who actually was familiar with the term and the conversation just proceeded without a hitch! Too bad that's not more common.
In the meantime I sit through conversations about choosing a spelling curriculum (or something similar) in uncomfortable silence. Or worry if I've gone on too long and said too much in my effort to be modest and neutral in conversation. (Note to self: being cryptic usually means having to say more than if you just came out and gave a straight answer!)
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