So this is what I came up with to help Z take the focus away from what is done for her.
We have a new family project. Everyday each of us will do _at least_ one helpful thing for the other members of our family without being asked to. For example we could offer to get someone a drink or pitch in a help them with their chore or offer to carry something in from the car for them, etc
Also each day we will do at least one good deed for the world or someone outside our family. For example we could pick up some trash, or take a shopping cart back to the corral or buy some coffee for a friend or bring a neighbor her mail, etc.
We already do these things but I think making a point of doing at least three good deeds a day will make us more aware of opportunites, thus turning our thoughts outward.
I plan on trying to do a lot of good deeds to motivate Z even more and make a game of it.
Z has a naturally kind heart, she has all the good qualities in a friend or daughter. I just think that her expectations of what she is "entitled" to gets skewed and we have to remind her.
(and piano?)
We got really behind last week on piano practice. I think it was partly being busy running around getting camping supplies and having play dates but it was also decompression from all the practicing before recital.
Z's lesson is today and she knew she was behind on her practicing. She started on her finger warm ups, she has six exercises that she has to do three times each and after some of them she asked if she could do them again and again because they sound pretty. Then when it was time to practice songs from her song book she asked if she could do some of her old songs and some extra songs.
I think she must have missed her piano. :)
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2 comments:
When J was taking his bath I talked about a few nice generous things he had done and for whom during the day. We also have this entitlement/gratitude problem which flares up more and less throughout the year so it seemed like a good exercise just to point out the good. The next day, he pointed out what I did at a random time during the day. So thanks for a little jolt to our awareness about doing for others. J really does see himself as an only child who happens to have a younger sibling. He doesn't really see why his sibling should get any time or attention. I keep thinking this will get better as they age and do more together but honestly I think his self-view is that of only child
Hi MJ
I think it will get better with age. Don't worry.
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