Truth be told

today was a pretty bad day.

This morning Z was getting every other math problem wrong. And not because they were to hard but because she would rather be done than be correct.

I got really stressed out because she was yawning and trying to tell jokes and looking at herself in the mirror and getting a drink and getting a tissues and basically doing anything that wasn't her math.

I ended up sending her to her room in frustration.

Days like these I wonder why I homeschool.

If she were someone else's responsibility they would have to deal with her and she would have had to deal with an "F' on her math today.

At home she never "fails." We always work at something until she really knows it.

And somehow I am supposed to have an endless reservoir of patience. Though I have been told I am very patient with Z I don’t see it and today I certainly didn’t have it.

After her “time out” Z asked why I got so upset over “math”. I told her it wasn’t about the math. If she was practicing piano and just guessing at the notes over and over again instead of actually looking at them I would get annoyed too. And if I had told her to go into her room and get dressed but instead she just went into her room and started playing, and then I told her again to get dressed and she said “Okay” but just started reading and then I had to tell her again to get dressed and she said she was “trying” but instead decided to look at herself in the mirror… well I might raise my voice with her.

Some might say that maybe we should have just skipped math if that was how she was feeling about it. But personally I look at times like that as an opportunity to teach Z how to work through her malaise.

After she came out of "time out" she was able to finish the rest with a lot of focus and almost all of the problems correct. It was certainly good enough and a very nice effort. What I had her do was say aloud everything she doing, I think it helped her stay focused and not make careless mistakes. She also got done much more quickly that way, which we both appreciated.

I am going to try to figure out how to keep getting that kind of effort from her. This week I am going to experiment with a variety of ideas I have to help her find her intrinsic motivation each morning. I’ll let you know how it goes.