Girls in the hood

So Z doesn't usually play with the girls in our neighborhood even though there are 4 other girls just her age. In fact we all live around the tennis courts, so we are quiet close.

Z has played with them on occasion and was even invited to one girl's birthday party and Z returned the invitation .

But whereas the other four girls, including one that moved into the neighborhood the same month we did, play together on an almost daily basis, Z only plays with them once every month or so.

It is not that Z is too busy, I think we are home and available more than they are and it is not that she doesn't have a nice time. A nice time yes, but not a great time. And it is not that we are not invited, the other mom's are very welcoming.

So I guess it is me. It makes me feel a little weird that Z is so different.

Today 3 of the girls and 2 mom's were hanging out by the tennis court when Z came by riding her bicycle and said "Hi." After the ride they were all still there playing some card game and they invited Z and I to come on over. The card game was a spelling game with cards with letters on them that spelled words like cat, cook and jump. One mom was coaching the girls to unscramble a word and read it, to little success.

I am sure you can imagine what happened.

Z came right over and said what the word was and spelled it. Then before the mom could set up the second word Z said it. This is not a big deal, Z was doing those card games at 2 years old.

So the mom started having the girls take turns trying to figure out the word, with Z going last. I totally get that. She was trying to make a learning opportunity for her daughter and the other girls. I might have done the same thing. But it made me feel out of place.

Then the girls went to play in the tennis courts. The one mom I kind of know asked me what classes Z is taking now. I said piano and Japanese and she looked at the other mom and made this "See, I told you so gesture."

Look, I wouldn't want Z to be less advanced so I could fit in with the neighborhood moms. I wouldn't anyway. I guess I just need to learn how to cope with people's reaction to Z.

Mainly in these situations I feel awkward and worried that the other parent will feel threatened by Z.

That has happened in fact. I had one woman, who was really nice to me turn real mean when she saw Z was reading a book that her 8 year old couldn't. She told said to me "Just because Z can read doesn't mean she is gifted." and "All kids even out by third grade." But she didn't stop there. She told me that my daughter was being a "pest" at the playground and went on finding fault with Z until I had to tell her not to bother talking to me about Z anymore and that I didn't want to hear it. So she called and yelled at me on my voice mail.

She was probably the worst but I have had other rude or frosty reactions to Z just being Z. And I've had lost people who were competitive about their kids.

So maybe that is why I get nervous. I am not sure what to do about it yet. My issue is common amoung parents of highly,exceptionally and profoundly gifted kids. Many either stop talking to other parents and "hide" their children or be very bold and "true" and develop a thick skin.

But not playing with the neighborhood girls in not a huge loss, Z has a lot of friends that she gets to see all the time. Still I should try to make more of an effort.